la_faerie_joyeuse's Xanga

A public service announcement

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 01:42:30 GMT

If you are driving in the left-most lane on the interstate, and cars in the next lane are passing you, you're doing something wrong.

Thank you.

I have nine hours to live

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 18:00:45 GMT

...as a teenager.

What should I do in the last nine hours of my teenage life?

Is there anything you wish you had done as a teenager, that you missed out on?

Susan Boyle: what's the big deal?

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 20:17:00 GMT

This is something I've been thinking about for a while, so excuse me if I address this issue slightly behind the ever-shifting focus of international attention. I had of course heard a lot about Susan Boyle - who hasn't? She was heralded as one of the most talented singers in the world, whose plain appearance caused shallow judges and viewers alike to stop and reconsider the idea that youth, beauty, and talent all necessarily come in the same package.

We all get warm fuzzies at the idea of a success story which defies every conventional limitation. Susan has nearly 2,000,000 fans on facebook alone (more than Britney Spears, Lil Wayne, or Eminem!) So why is she now also getting special attention on my page?

I had seen Susan multiple times. But today, for the first time, I heard her. And, quite frankly, I don't see what's so special. She is a decent singer, but I wouldn't jump out of my chair to applaud her. Moreover, glancing over her wikipedia entry showed that she has a learning disability and lives in government-type housing. Maybe I'm missing something here, but she really doesn't seem to deserve all the hype. Why do people love Susan so much? Is there something special about her that I can't see, or are we idolizing mediocrity?

Self-control

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 23:15:16 GMT

How do you control yourself, when you really want to do something that you know would be catastrophic?

Absence

Sat, 30 May 2009 16:15:45 GMT

Anyone who follows my blog has probably noticed that I haven't really been on here for months. There has been so much going on in my life, that I haven't really had the time to blog. But coming back, I saw that I have 46 messages. Only ONE was actually from someone who addressed me personally. The internet is so fickle - I used to think that Xanga was a great community of individuals who really cared about one another. But increasingly, I see that, aside from one or two close connections, no one on here really cares about anyone else. Too bad.

Just in case you all were curious, the things in my life? Six finals, sister's wedding, and moving to a new city. Maybe more later.

OMGOMGOMG I'm (almost) a senior

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 01:13:12 GMT

Inspired by recent entries by Blanket_Attack and AnchorsAwayx, and a comment by my_versace, I've decided to do a series aimed for high school students (and maybe undergraduates) looking for that next step. I'm a fairly successful overachieving college student, so maybe some retrospective advice would be helpful. This series may or may not actually be finished, but in addition to this entry, I hope to cover:
- Choosing a major
- Where to apply
- How to get in
- How to pay for it
- Random tidbits about scheduling, housing, and college life as a whole

Onward! So, you're in high school. You're nearing the end (even if you're just a freshman, trust me, it goes by faster than you think). So far, just about everything has been predetermined for you. You get up, go to school, go home, eat a snack, watch some TV, grab dinner, waste time on the internet, grab second dinner, do some homework, then get to bed. Repeat 365.25 times per year. Yeah, you get some measure of freedom ("Would you like Paper or Plastic?"), but you have probably never had to make any serious life-altering decisions. It's stressful I know.

That's why the VERY first thing you need to do is take a deep breath. Try to chill. It will all work out, so there's no point in killing yourself with anxiety if you can help it.

Next, think about it. What do you really want to do? Do you like school? Would you rather work for a few years, then try school? Do you prefer traveling? Really, if you have concrete life and career goals, that's great for you. But make sure that your whole plan is going to be fun. Plans often get disrupted, and if you've invested so much into, say, being a doctor/lawyer/entertainer, and then it doesn't work out, PLUS you just made yourself miserable for X years? The crash is just going to be that much worse.

For me, the choice was pretty clear. I love learning, so the natural choice was to go to college. But the most important point in this whole post is:
College is NOT for everyone.
It's okay if you don't want to go to college. Don't let your parents, counselors, friends, SO, or anyone else tell you what to do with your life. Yeah, it'll be difficult to cross them. But will it really be more difficult than being absolutely miserable for 4 years and wasting tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars?

I'll give you the example of my parents. My mother got a college degree, and promptly wasted it. She's now unemployed and lying to stay on welfare. My father never went to college, but he is now highly successful. Yes, he had to claw his way up, but he did make it. Personally, I made the decision to go to college because it's right for ME. You do what's right for you, not for anyone else.

Hot Topics

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 07:50:45 GMT

Every blog automatically gets more traffic if it talks about:

- Relationships. Everyone seems to be lost, and wants someone to tell them what to do.
- Profanity/Bathroom humor. This is the lowest of the low, but for some reason, throw the word "FART" into a blog post, and it's hilarious. This issue alone caused me to stop visiting ASM.
- Race or racism. Bonus points if you mention Asians. Extra bonus points if you mention race and relationships.
- Body image. Everyone wants to be told they're beautiful.
- Advice (non-relationship related). People rec these because they're important, even if the writing isn't that original. Lotta Valdez is famous for some actually really great ones (I think she got featured for a "how to deal with bill collectors" a while back), and there was one on Momaroo about child abuse.
- Religion. Express an opinion one way or the other, and people automatically flock to disagree with you. (Particularly: abortion, homosexuality)
- Sex. Who doesn't like to read about/talk about/have sex?
- The readers. If there's an opportunity to let the reader blab about her own life or experience, she is going to take it. Everyone loves to talk about himself.

And, a little eye candy:

That's my black-hispanic biracial boyfriend trying to eat my now-medium-length brown hair. We are beautiful non-theists who like to have sex. We also go to the bathroom, but usually not together. You should have a relationship, too! Why aren't you in a homoreligious, interracial, beautiful, sexual relationship in which you can make bathroom jokes?

(Okay, sorry guys. It's almost 5 AM. What did you expect?)

...Wait, wait. Before you go:

If a woman is carrying a gay baby, does that make it okay for her to have an abortion?

La_Faerie_Joyeuse: Research Fellow

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 02:22:02 GMT

Dear la_faerie_joyeuse,

I am pleased to inform you that you have been selected *this is where the screaming starts* to participate in the NIH-NSF Bioengineering and Bioinformatics Summer Institute (BBSI) Program at the University of Pittsburgh, to be held between May 26 and July 31, 2009. Your official admission and acceptance letter is attached... Thank you, and congratulations. I hope you will decide to join us for the BBSI 2009 program.

-Awesome director person.

For those of you who are in college: it's a time of discovery. It's a time when you can basically do anything you want. It will be the best time of your life, if you manage your time well. Find what you love to do, and do it. There is no limit.

For college-bound high school students: apply to as many schools as you possibly can. Try to visit. On your applications, pick an interest/major, even if you're not sure you want to do that. Rave about that specific program in the school you're applying to, and talk about how excited you are to expand your whole self while contributing to the experience for everyone. (Also, try to do well on those AP exams. When you get to college, you'll be glad to have the pre-reqs out of the way.)

In related news, will anyone be in Pittsburgh over the summer?

My Asian roommate

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 14:39:39 GMT

It's spring break at my school, and that means most of the campus has gone off to fresh, exciting things. I, however, do not have a home elsewhere, so of course that means I get to stay on campus with a limited group. But I couldn't stay in my room, with my things. No, I am required to stay in the house next door. I was required to gather everything I wanted for the next week and lug it over here. Moreover, I'm staying in a house with about ten other girls, and they're all exceedingly loud at all hours of the night. But the thing that most gets me, is I have a roommate.

You see, I'm the kind of person who does not play well with others, especially if I feel like they are invading my personal space. I'm an introvert at heart, and I really need time when I'm not around *anyone* else. Besides, it makes webcam sex impossble.

So my roommate is one of those Chinese students, whose English isn't very good, who wants to be a math major. (Where have I seen this story before?) I've made the effort to get to know her, ~~so that I can destroy her~~ because that's the natural thing to do when you're stuck in a room with someone for five days.

- She has body image issues. She walked to Walmart (2 miles one way) in almost 80 degree weather - even though I offered to drive her - because she "needs to lose weight."
- She feels incompetent in class. She has studied until 2 AM every night since we got here... and we're on spring break. She works really hard, and when she still doesn't succeed, she feels like a "failure".
- She's embarrassed to speak English, in case she makes a mistake. She has been taught that any weakness should be hidden as much as possible.

Pure and simple, all these feelings of inadequacy and guilt trace right back to her Chinese upbringing. In China, she says, there is so much pressure to study every moment of the day. At the heart of things, she really just wants to watch anime and listen to Japanese music (actually she really wants to go live in Japan one day). She hates school, and really just wants to have a moderate job, on which she could live.

People often praise the Chinese cultural values: respect towards elders, work ethic, and emphasis on education. But these values are exactly what has made my Chinese roommate miserable. What's the point, of having a society which is the most technologically advanced in the world, if you're going to ruin the lives of hundreds or thouands of young people?

I prefer a culture in which every individual can pave his own path. I would like to see a culture in which if you don't want to go to college, that's okay. I want to live in a culture which recognizes that not everyone has the same abilities or desires, and embraces our differences.

What do you think of your own culture's values?

You're more than a mom

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 22:49:30 GMT

There are big industries build up around a woman's maternal instinct. Momaroo, for instance, is designed to cater to mothers and expecting mothers. Even more importantly, I notice a ton of Xanga users whose name includes "mom" or "mommy."

Now, no offense to you if you do have kids. That's a really important job, and you should be putting your all in to it. But at the same time, you need to make sure that you are not ignoring your own needs. Maybe today, when they're a toddler and they're dependent on you, this outlook makes sense. But as they get older, into their teens, and are looking for freedom, do you really want to be the mother who has nothing left after her kids leave the house?

It's the same basic premise as in any relationship you ever have. You want to put all you can into the relationship, to ensure that it grows and you're both healthy and happy. But at the same time, you have to retain your own sense of individuality. You can't think of yourself as "Little Billy's Mommy" forever.